Cheesus Flyst was a religious figure, alleged prophet and unusually large cheese fly whose teachings concerning cheese, decomposition and divine fly strike formed the basis of the Cheesian faith.
According to Cheesian tradition, Cheesus Flyst began life as a humble maggot living inside an unspecified quantity of cheese. The circumstances surrounding his transformation into a cheese fly remain disputed.
His most famous teaching is generally recorded as:
Rats never retreat
Early life
Very little is known about the early life of Cheesus Flyst. Cheesian scripture states that he was originally a maggot, although it does not specify the species of fly involved.
At some point during his larval development, Flyst underwent a transformation of extraordinary theological significance. He emerged not merely as a fly, but as what followers would later describe as the first Cheese Fly.
The exact mechanism responsible for this transformation remains unknown.
Teachings
The central principle of Flystian teaching is that all things eventually become cheese.
The statement is generally interpreted as a reference to decomposition, transformation and the cyclical nature of biological matter. A minority of Cheesian scholars believe it is instead a literal prediction.
Flyst also taught that flies should not be regarded merely as pests, but as participants in the great process of decomposition.
Miracles & Plagues
Cheesus Flyst is credited with numerous miracles, although most would not ordinarily be described as beneficial.
Excretion of cheese
Flyst was reputedly capable of producing cheese through
unknown biological processes.
Expansion of Sardinian cuisine
Cheesian texts attribute several developments in Sardinian
cheese cuisine to Flyst, despite the absence of reliable
evidence that he ever visited Sardinia.
Fly strike
Flyst is believed by followers to be responsible for cases
of enteric pseudomyiasis, commonly known as fly strike.
This is considered by the Church of Cheesy Fly to be a form
of divine visitation.
The Great Disappearance
Cheesus Flyst disappeared on 11 September 2001.
The circumstances remain unresolved.
Several witnesses reported seeing an enormous cheese fly above the Sea of Galilee shortly before his disappearance. Other accounts describe an explosion of cheese.
The Church of Cheesy Fly maintains that Flyst did not die, but ascended into a higher state of cheese.
The official historical record remains inconclusive.
Influence
The teachings of Cheesus Flyst form the theological foundation of the Church of Cheesy Fly, whose followers are commonly known as Cheesians.
The Church regards cheese, flies and decomposition as interconnected elements of a single divine process.
The traditional Cheesian greeting remains:
Rats never retreat.
Legacy
Despite the disputed nature of his historical existence, Cheesus Flyst remains one of the most significant figures in Claggian religious history.
His teachings continue to influence the study of cheese, flies, pestilence and other subjects that conventional scholarship has generally chosen not to combine.